How to Dont Want to Call Him Again After a Break Up

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After a bad breakup, you might miss your ex and experience tempted to contact him or her, or you may exist resentful and feel the urge to vent your frustrations. Whatever motivates your urge to phone call your ex, having contact while you're still getting over the breakdown is never a expert idea. By giving each other fourth dimension and space, you can assess whether there'south any chance for friendship in the time to come. In the meantime, it's best to cutting all ties and avoid ane some other while you heal.

1. 1

   Delete your ex's phone number from your contacts list. Some people reach out to their exes in a moment of weakness, while others exercise and so in hopes of reigniting some romantic involvement. However, any attempts at contacting your ex will but dredge up painful feelings for 1 or both of yous, and it will but prolong the inevitable. Retrieve that you broke up for a reason: one or both of yous were fundamentally unhappy, and that won't change.^[1]

   • If your ex's telephone number was saved on your cellphone, delete his/her contact data and delete any previous text bulletin conversations or phone telephone call records on your phone.
   • Erase, absorb out, or discard any concrete copies you've written down of your ex's telephone number (like from an address book, for example).
   • Consider blocking your ex from contacting you lot on your cellphone. Generally this is done by going into settings, clicking on privacy, and blocking the number of your ex, though the verbal method will vary depending on the type of phone you accept.
   • Turn off your phone any time you plan on drinking alcohol (if y'all meet legal drinking age) so that y'all do non text or call your ex in a moment of weakness.

2. 2

   Unfriend or unfollow your ex on social media. Some people are able to remain friends with an ex. However, if you don't think you lot can be friends without having romantic feelings for him/her, it may be best to cut off all ties with that individual. Even if you've deleted your ex's phone number, you may yet be able to send your ex private messages or comment on photos and status updates.^[2]

   • Unfriending/unfollowing your ex on social media will assistance remove temptation to contact that individual. It can also provide you lot with space and privacy while you lot heal from the breakup.
   • Retrieve that if you remain friends on social media, you'll have to see whom that individual is in a human relationship with in the future. You'll also be generally reminded of your time together, which may create feelings of longing.
   • Call back that you can always send your ex a friend request or follow him/her in the hereafter, once yous've gotten over the breakup. If you're feeling vulnerable and may endeavor to contact your ex, though, it's best to cutting that individual out birthday for the time being.

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3. 3

   Distance yourself from mutual friends for a while. You lot may non need to practice this, only some people may find information technology helpful to create some distance betwixt mutual friends while the breakdown is still fresh. If you call back you might be tempted to ask a mutual friend to "report" on your ex, or if you cannot divide the emotional associations of your ex with your mutual friends, it may be all-time to create a trivial space until you've healed and moved on.^[3]

   • Permit your friends know what you're doing and why. If you don't communicate with them, they may worry that you've decided not to be friends with them as individuals.
   • If your mutual friends bring up your ex around you, ask them to terminate doing so, at to the lowest degree until you've healed from the breakup.
   • Avoid any situations or social events where your ex may exist nowadays. For instance, if your common friends host a party or invite you to an consequence, ask them in accelerate whether your ex will be at that place.

4. 4

   Effort to find a sense of closure. The best way to heal yourself emotionally after a breakup is past accepting that the human relationship is over. This may be difficult, especially if you were the rejected partner, but recognizing that it could never work out is important.^[iv] Until you have found some sense of closure, you may continue to feel temptations to call or text your ex, and doing so volition only prolong the suffering and emotional vulnerability you're feeling.

   • Information technology's okay to feel pain and sadness - these feelings are normal. But dwelling on those feelings or disarming yourself that you've lost your "ane truthful love" will only delay your healing.
   • Recognize that it'due south okay to be lonely for a while. Y'all tin detect other heady ways to fill your fourth dimension, and once you've taken time for yourself y'all'll be prepare to begin an fifty-fifty better relationship with someone new.^[v]
   • If you're still thinking fondly about your ex or hoping for some type of reconnection, you lot oasis't establish closure yet. It's vital that you avoid contacting, seeing, or fifty-fifty accidentally running into your ex during this time in social club to heal and move on.

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1. 1

   Spend equally much fourth dimension as possible with friends and family. If you're coming out of a long-term human relationship, especially with someone you shared a house or apartment with, existence alone may feel scary or intimidating. The best style to get over your ex (and distract yourself from whatever temptation to call him/her) is to be effectually other people as often as you tin can.^[6]

   • Reach out to friends and family members, even if yous oasis't seen them or heard from them in a while. It'southward okay if yous have to initiate the planning; the important thing is not to exist alone.
   • Try taking upwardly a new hobby or enrolling in a form, and inquire a friend to try it out with you. This can exist a corking distraction from your feelings and a good bonding experience between you and your friend.

2. 2

   Put away or get rid of sentimental reminders. After a long relationship, y'all probably have a lot of physical objects that remind y'all of your ex. These may be little gifts and shared objects, and seeing them everyday tin be a constant reminder of your past relationship. Getting rid of (or at to the lowest degree hiding) these objects that remind you lot of your ex can aid you experience less compelled to contact your ex in the wake of a breakdown. ^[7]

   • Box up anything that reminds yous of the other person. Whether it's photographs, gifts, or property that he/she left behind, it'south best to keep them out of sight.
   • If you tin't keep these sentimental reminders in your home without domicile on your ex or feeling tempted to contact him/her, throw them in the trash. Just be sure to adapt for a common friend to return whatever belongings that your ex may want dorsum earlier you throw anything out.

3. 3

   Modify your life to finish thinking about your ex. Sometimes moving on from a breakup can be difficult. Even after removing the sentimental reminders of your ex, you lot may find yourself thinking about him or her on a regular basis, and that may give you the urge to contact your ex. If yous're having a hard time moving past the breakup, making some changes in your routine or your life in general may help.^[8]

   • If yous shared a firm or flat, move out and find a new place in a different neighborhood.
   • If you work together or used to work together, consider looking for a new chore.
   • If you lot don't want to leave your job but you withal work together and share space, ask your dominate if you can change desks to be farther away from one another.
   • Notice other means to modify upward your routine and your physical surroundings. Practice whatever you can to make subtle changes in your life and erase all reminders of your ex.

4. iv

   Forgive yourself for any office you lot played in the breakdown. Whether you were the person who initiated the breakdown or your actions/behavior led to your ex breaking up with y'all, you may be carrying effectually some guilt. Information technology'southward of import to accept the past and move on in lodge to heal. Remember that no matter how guilty yous may experience, your ex certainly played a role in things falling autonomously - and that'due south okay. Moving on ways learning how to love yourself and forgive yourself for your mistakes. Eventually, one time you've forgiven yourself, you may be able to forgive your ex too.^[9]

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1. 1

   Consider whether your ex has hurt you. Every human relationship has its ups and downs. Couples oftentimes fight, and sometimes things are said that shouldn't have been. All the same, if your partner has abused yous (emotionally or physically), cheated on yous, or otherwise neglected your feelings throughout the grade of your relationship, there's a skilful take chances that that individual would not make a good friend.^[10]

   • Toxic people who have hurt you and may go along to do then in the future should be cut out of your life.^[11] This is best for your getting over that ex as well every bit for your general mental wellness and wellbeing.

2. 2

   Ask yourself whether y'all could exist friends without wanting a human relationship. Some people never stop feeling some type of attraction towards some other person. That allure may be physical or emotional, merely it tin make friendship very difficult. If you don't think you lot can talk to your ex or exist in the aforementioned room with him or her without wanting to reconnect on some level, you lot'll need to accept the fact that you merely tin can't maintain a friendship with that individual.^[12]

   • If you're having trouble moving on, make sure you cut off all ties completely and at once.
   • Any fourth dimension y'all take hold of yourself thinking about your ex, brand a point of doing something fun and distracting. Go out with friends, watch TV, or find other means to snap out of that mindset.

3. three

   Assess how much time has passed. Being friends after a breakup almost e'er requires time and altitude apart. You cannot transition from a relationship to a friendship without time to process and heal (if y'all're able to at all).^[thirteen] If yous recall you lot can get over the breakup and ultimately become friends with your ex, y'all'll need to evaluate your feelings towards that person and consider how much time has passed since the breakup.^[fourteen]

   • Most people feel sad, solitary, or injure/betrayed in the wake of a breakup. This is normal, and these feelings volition pass with time.
   • There is no universal waiting catamenia for getting over a human relationship. For some people it tin can happen in a calendar week or two, while for others it may take months to become over an ex.
   • If you nonetheless feel whatsoever kind of longing or resentment towards your ex, non enough time has passed.
   • In one case y'all can think about your ex and not miss him/her or get angry about the breakup, you may be set to consider transitioning to a friendship. If this doesn't happen, though, you may need to cut your losses and move on without your ex in your life.

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• Question

  Why practice I take the urge to contact my ex?

  

  Amy Chan is the Founder of Renew Breakdown Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to heal after the end of a relationship. Her team of psychologists and coaches has helped hundreds of individuals in just two years of operation, and the bootcamp has been featured on CNN, Vogue, the New York Times, and Fortune. Her book about her work, Breakup Bootcamp, volition be published by HarperCollins in January 2020.

  

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  Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

  Your brain is in withdrawal from the release of dopamine your ex gave you. In fact, recently broken-upwards singles show activity in the aforementioned role of the brain as a drug user. Dopamine is the feel-practiced chemical the leaves y'all wanting more of whatsoever stimulus gave you the dopamine in the first place. Cravings encourage you to get more of what your brain wants, and in this situation, your encephalon wants your ex. Understanding this can help yous break the wheel.

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• The more you lot talk to your ex, the harder it will be to let him or her go. It is best to non talk at all, at to the lowest degree until you've healed and moved on with your life.

• If yous accidentally (or intentionally) have your ex'south number memorized, it is more important than ever that y'all keep your phone out of sight.

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Article Summary X

Whether you lot experience the urge to call your ex out of nostalgia or to vent frustrations, it'southward best to avoid contact while you're still getting over the breakup. If your ex's phone number is saved on your telephone, delete their information and any text message conversations to brand contacting them more than difficult. You can also block your ex's number and so they tin can't phone call or text you. Additionally, turn off your telephone any time you lot're drinking booze so that you don't phone call or text in a moment of weakness. Unfriending or unfollowing your ex on social media will besides remove the temptation to get in touch with them and requite y'all the space and privacy to heal. To acquire how to decide if you and your ex can ever be friends, proceed reading!

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